1662) The Rules of Misquotation

• Axiom 1. Any quotation that can be altered will be.
  
  
  • Corollary 1A: Vivid words hook misquotes in the mind.
  
  
  
  • Corollary 1B: Numbers are hard to keep straight.
  
  
  
  • Corollary 1C: Small changes can have a big impact [...]
  
  
  
  • Corollary 1D: If noted figures don't say what needs to be said, we'll say it for them.
  
  
  
  • Corollary 1E: Journalists are a less than dependable source of accurate quotes.
  
  
  
  • Corollary 1F: Famous dead people make excellent commentators on current events.


• Axiom 2. Famous quotes need famous mouths.
  
  
  • Corollary 2A: Well-known messengers get credit for clever comments they report from less celebrated mouths.
  
  
  
  • Corollary 2B: Particularly quotable figures receive more than their share of quotable quotes.
  
  
  
  • Corollary 2C: Comments made about someone might as well have been said by them.
  
  
  
  • Corollary 2D: Who you think said something may depend on where you live.
  
  
  
  • Corollary 2E: Vintage quotes are considered to be in the public domain.
  
  
  
  • Corollary 2F: In a pinch, any orphan quote can be called a Chinese proverb.

These, then, are the laws of misquotation. All evolve from our basic need to have said what must be said, and by someone whose name we recognize.

Reflecting these laws, some terms [are useful]:

flypaper people - prominent, quotable figures to whom more than their share of quotations stick.

sounds-like quotes - comments attributed to the prominent figure whome they most "sound like."

retroquotes - words placed posthumously in the mouth of a well-known dead person.

public domain quotes - remarks made so long ago that they can be safely claimed by whoever wishes to claim them.

orphans - unattributed quotes in search of a home.

bumper-sticker (verb) - compressing a longer statement to make it more quotable.

euphonize - making a clumsy quotation more harmonious.

requisitioning - attributing an old saying to someone famous.

lip syncing - mouthing someone else's words as if they were your own.

parenting - attributing authorship of one's own words to someone more prominent; the opposite of lip syncing.

hook words or phrases - colorful words of groups of words which make a quote easier to remember; often retrofitted.

modular sayings - multipurpose comments with blanks to be filled in (e.g., "If we can afford to go to the moon, then we can afford to _________.").

numbernesia - getting the words right but the numbers wrong.

The many streams of miswording and misattribution eventually converge into a raging river of misquotation. As a result, even our most hallowed sayings are liable to be revised, requisitioned, and stolen outright.

Ralph Keyes
"Nice Guys Finish Seventh": False Phrases, Spurious
Sayings, and Familiar Misquotations (1992) [NGF]
posted (in part) by Bill Thomas [UAQ] (1/23/1996)

[Note: On Usenet, the most prominent "flypaper people" appeared to be H.L. Mencken, Mark Twain and Albert Einstein. Noted by me on [UAQ] (1/24/1996). Also, cf. #1435 Comins]